giving up

in life, we're met with difficulties,

at first, we may be able to overcome them,

but as you progress and expectations grow,

morale begins to peter out.

life throws unexpected curveballs at you

as if life is just a casual game of catch

in the fresh, crisp air of a summer evening.

as more piles upon what is already there,

giving up seems more and more logical.

i am guilty.

when things begin to become hard,

and my morale starts to fade,

i give up.

when i try one too many times,

i become frustrated.

when things don't go the way i want,

i begin to recede into myself.

when people need me the most,

i tell them to have a nice life.

we're not in this life to make friends,

are we?  if so, why is it so easy for me

to ruin friendships i once cherished?

for that, i have the perfect answer.

too easily, i give up.

pointless

sometimes, i can't help but wonder why 

some things are made or put into action.

things that puzzle me are wrongful actions,

gossiping, and american laws. 

some things are just quite pointless.

why would you go around 

bashing other people?

why would you waste someone's

time with a prank call?

why would you create a law 

about sleeping with porcupines?

most importantly, why would 

you lie to make yourself

see cooler? it doesn't make any sense.

some things are just pointless.

transitions

new teachers are good, aren't they?

if you don't like the current teacher

you have, you're blessed with a better

one in most best-case scenarios, correct?

well, what happens when you loved your teacher?

what happens when she leaves on maternity leave

and you figure out she'll never come back?

well, it happened to me. and trust me,

it sucks. now, im stuck listening to

endless lectures on how i'm on a higher

thinking level and not stupid. how she's

so fair and kind and honest.

how she got pulled over by a police

officer for speeding or how she doesn't

want to teach for military kids because she 

doesn't want to be on the front lines.

oh, with this new teacher i learn lots and lots.

i learn about her,

but honestly, do i want to

learn about my teacher or science

that i go to that class for?

it's just a thought. sue me for wanting

to be able to pass my science class.

sue me for wanting to learn something in

school. i think i'll write her a hateful

sincere letter telling her how i feel.

i guess i'll take matters in my own hands.

she says transition is good, but

i think i can beg to differ this time.

happy new years

it's bizarre how fast even a year goes.

it seems like 2010 had only begun a blink ago.

then again, maybe it's not bad the year has ceased.

2010 brought good memories and bad. 2010

brought me my first kiss and my first heartbreak.

most importantly, 2010 has made me realize my

priorities and made me mature so much. 

for 2011, i'm expecting a lot of out myself.

i want to stop being on my computer so much,

spend time with my sister a little more, and become

a little more social. i want to expand my knowledge

on my flute, and i want to continue to let my writing grow.

i also want to post more often on here because i think

getting your thoughts on paper, or typed up, really is a

huge stress reliever. maybe one day ill look back on

this and laugh. maybe i'll be grateful i did it. whatever

the reason, i still think this blog is a good idea.

the last thing i want to do, no mater how silly

or unreasonable it seems...

i want to write a book.